This journey of motherhood continues to open doors in my heart, plant seeds in my soul, wreak havoc on my selfishness, and drive me to my knees before the Lord.
My heart has never known such joy as seeing my son's eyes light up when I enter a room. It has never soared quite so high as when he reaches out for me or nuzzles his smooth cheek in my neck. Never before has it been so tugged by soulful cries in the middle of the night.
My soul is a new garden in which experience is planting seeds of wisdom for days to come:
I am facing my selfishness everyday and constantly battling against it:
- Choosing to soothe my son over hiding under the covers
- Washing hair is now a once or twice per week luxury
- I cannot keep everything clean and tidy
- I can't always finish everything I start when there is someone more important who needs my attention
- Adult conversation is often choppy and interrupted
- Finishing a book is a monumental task
- Eating warm food with utensils is a special treat for me
I come before the Lord as I struggle with anxieties:
- His health (does <insert symptom> mean he is sick?)
- Am I doing something wrong? Not doing something I should?
- Do I know enough to teach him the right things at the right times?
I thank God for a loving, patient, FUN husband who is my partner in this journey. And we could not be more thankful for family who love our son passionately and help us so much with caring for him and making sure we take care of ourselves! We are so thankful!
May God continue His work on me in this motherhood journey.
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