From Frustration to Faith: Trusting God with My Crohn’s Disease

Do you ever feel stuck? Does it seem as though you’re wandering in a wilderness with no escape?

Many things in life can contribute to this feeling:

• Losing a job

• Losing a loved one

• Unanswered prayer

• Facing a chronic health condition

We all experience many different things in life, but oftentimes we can empathize with those around us facing trials.

My life hurdle in this season is facing Crohn’s disease. Before my diagnosis, I went through a myriad of medical tests and tried many approaches to alleviating my symptoms such as the MRT food sensitivity test, going dairy- and gluten-free, and cooking every meal from scratch. There is more to the story of how I arrived at the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease, but I’ll save those details for another time.

One of the challenges with Crohn’s disease is knowing what to eat. Every person is different. Some can handle cruciferous vegetables; some cannot. Some can tolerate dairy; some cannot. Some can eat nuts and seeds; some cannot. It feels like a game of Russian roulette because when you try certain foods, you have no idea whether they will go down without issue or cause a flare of your symptoms.

In the past few weeks, I’ve become discouraged. Currently, I quite literally eat the same foods every day (smoothie and bone broth for breakfast, pureed carrots or squash with fish for lunch, and steamed vegetables, chicken, and avocado for dinner). There is little variety in flavor or amount of food. Almost all my food is pureed, with the exception of soft proteins and greens that are steamed to mush. My inflammation rates are low according to bloodwork, but I still have symptoms almost daily.

I found myself complaining in my head (and sometimes aloud) about my daily menu, comparing what I can eat to what my family and friends eat. It just didn’t seem fair.

Then I realized I sounded like the Israelites. God rescued them from slavery to the Egyptians, guided them safely across the Red Sea, and traveled with them day and night, yet they complained about what they did not have in the wilderness. I reached for my Bible and looked up Bible verses about God providing manna for the Israelites. Although I was familiar with the basics, a review of the details struck a chord with my current situation:

• The Israelites grumbled against the Lord and wished they were back in slavery because the food was better (Exodus 16:3 ESV)

• God provided a solution that sustained their bodies in the wilderness (Exodus 16:4-5)

• The Israelites ate manna for 40 years until they “came to a habitable land” (Exodus 16:35)

Wow. How I resonate with the Israelites. When I compare myself to others (or even to myself just a few years ago), I wish I was in a different situation. However, when I focus on the love of God and His provision in my life (loving family, food I can eat however limited, medical tests and treatment), my frustration morphs into faith. God continues to provide. Even if I must eat these same foods for 40 more years, my body will be nourished, and I can enjoy each day with my family, doing the work He has set in front of me for each season.

If you are faced with a limited list of foods your body tolerates due to food sensitivities, autoimmune disease, or any other limiting conditions, be encouraged. We can reach out to God - cry out to Him. He hears us. He may not intervene and change our situation, but He can comfort us and change our hearts and attitudes. May we trust in His faithfulness to provide what we need when we need it.

How many wise men were there?

Have you started playing Christmas music yet? My sister and I usually bar ourselves from playing Christmas music until after Thanksgiving, but this year is an exception - we're ready for it!

These days, there is no shortage of styles, versions, and variations on the old familiar carols (and there are a lot of good new ones, too!). For many, the lyrics are great reminders of Truth from the Bible. But others? Well, Chuck made a great point in church this morning: some carols focus more on tradition than Truth.

For example, in "We Three Kings," the carol talks about three kings from the Orient. If you press pause on the song and reach for your Bible, you will find no reference to three kings. In Matthew's gospel, the only kings mentioned are King Herod (evil) and King Jesus (righteous). Tradition also has it that there were three magi. Well, the number three was never mentioned. We know there was more than one because of the plural noun used (magi), but there could have been two or seven or twelve. The only time "three" is mentioned is when it comes to the gifts they brought.

The message from this morning? Make sure we study the Word first and don't rely on even tradition to teach the Truth.

Speaking of truth, each year I like to focus on a different person in the Christmas story and look at the events from their perspective. I had not decided on that person until this morning. As Chuck described the three gifts of the (two/seven/twelve) magi, a cord was struck in my heart as I considered how Mary would have perceived these gifts for her son.

1. Gold: a precious metal, gold was given to kings and so this signified Jesus' authority as King
2. Frankincense: a costly oil (usually reserved for priests) signified Jesus' authority as High Priest
3. Myrrh: aromatic spices used for anointing and embalming the dead, signifying Jesus' purpose on earth - He came to die

It was this last point that stuck out to me. Mary, sweet, young Mary, was chosen to be the mother of Jesus. Though an honor, it was not an easy road. The three gifts of the magi were symbolic for this child who was born to save the world. She must have been proud and honored to see the gifts of gold and frankincense, knowing that this child was the Savior. 

But she must have caught her breath when she saw the myrrh. The angel of the Lord told her, "You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever; His kingdom will never end"(Luke 1:31-33). 

I'm sure she wondered how this could be? Why would the magi bring this gift to a child (a King) whose kingdom would never end? 

Mary must have had many questions throughout Jesus' life. And yet, she wisely placed them all in God's hands: "I am the Lord's servant[...]May your word to me be fulfilled" (Luke 1:38).

And so, I will focus on Mary this season - on the word from the Lord she received, the questions that must have filled her mind and heart, and her ultimate decision to trust Him.

Are you compassionate?

Compassion.

What do you think of when you read this word? Do you think of pity or empathy? Of sitting down with someone and letting them cry on your shoulder? Maybe you think of Compassion International and sponsoring a child in a foreign country. Maybe you think of Jesus.

When I think of compassion, I think of a trait I really want to define me. In fact, at different, pivotal times in my life, I have made this trait a focus of prayer - that I might be a more compassionate and less judgmental person. I think it is something I will have to intentionally pray about throughout my life.

Recently, I was confronted with a lack of compassion at work. The longer I am in the workforce (especially in my current industry), I see a strong sense of entitlement. Instead of employees coming to me with a request, they come with demands. Instead of thanking me for helping them, the response is more one of "Well, that's my right" or "You owed me." This has become so routine that my responses are often merely polite, if not guarded, when typically they would be more friendly and genuine. Sometimes, I find myself putting certain things off because I don't appreciate the way someone asked for my help. How selfish is that?

A sweet, older woman recently asked me for help with something, and I found myself putting off helping her. Besides it being a very busy week, I don't really know why I was reluctant to help. When I got the answer the next day, I sought her out. After explaining what she needed to do, the woman very graciously and effusively thanked me.

I was surprised. I'm not really used to getting a genuine "Thank you" from an employee outside of my team. It felt good...and it felt bad. I realized that I had succumbed to the whole "I'll treat you the way
you treat me" syndrome instead of treating others as Christ would. I've been acting like a child. Instead, I need to remember 1 Peter 3:8-9:

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

Well-acquainted with waiting

The events in Moore, OK this past week hit close to home. My aunt had just moved into a house in Moore, and it was essentially totaled by the devastating EF5 tornado. She was home alone watching television, and her show was not interrupted with a warning. Hit in the head by a few pieces of debris, she did experience a concussion, but praise God there was no internal bleeding.

Thankfully, my cousins live within a few miles of her, so she was able to find refuge in their home the night the tornado hit. My cousin's wife kept us all updated on my aunt's condition and ended the night saying that the biggest challenge they faced was waiting for dawn and waiting to see what was left of the house.

Waiting.

As I tried to wrap my mind around my aunt's new season of waiting (for a night and for many months ahead), my own seasons of waiting shifted in perspective. Yes, they are still meaningful and challenging for me, but when you see someone else's unique season of waiting, it can be comforting to know you're not alone.

My thoughts wandered to Jesus' seasons of waiting. He is well-acquainted with waiting. Growing up, He was waiting for the time to begin His ministry. He learned the trade of a carpenter and then began teaching in the Temple. But He had to wait until He received God's blessing to begin His ministry on earth. What anticipation must He have felt to pursue His calling?

Then, He was ultimately waiting to die. He knew what He was sent to earth to do (Matthew 16:21, Mark 8:31, etc.). What agony must He have felt during that season of waiting? 

And now...even now He is waiting. God is waiting for the right time to move forward with His plan. How comforting is it to know that what He asks of me (to wait on Him), He endures Himself. God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants, and yet He Himself waits for the right time.

He is there with me in my season(s) of waiting. And so I will wait with courage and faith that He is growing me into who I need to be through the waiting.

It's safer in the deep end

"You are better off in the deep water with Jesus than in the shallow water alone." -Priscilla Shirer


An ancient Galilee boat. I took this picture on a trip to Israel in 2010. This is a historical find. According to our guide, this boat was excavated and dated to be from the time of Jesus' ministry. The fisherman who used this boat likely knew of Jesus.

This morning, I listened to a segment of a message Priscilla gave to a group of women recently. In it, she focused on Luke 5 - a passage that focuses on our friend Simon Peter, and his frustration with an empty fishing net. He and his fellow fisherman had worked all night with nothing to show for it.

"He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets”  (v. 3-5).

Isn't that just like us? When Jesus steps into our situation and gives us a chance to exercise our faith, do you ever catch yourself thinking, "Well, if You had been around, Lord, You would know I've already tried that"? As if He wasn't there with us through it all. Maybe the answer to our prayers isn't some outrageous new thing. Maybe it's something we've considered before (and even tried on our own), but now it will be done in light of faith in God to handle it and not in ourselves.

"When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him" (v. 6-11).

He was patient with Peter, and in the presence of His glory, Peter recognized his doubt.

As Pricilla said, wouldn't we rather be in the deep end with Jesus than in the shallow water without? I would rather face impossible situations with the One who makes the impossible possible than live an "easy" life solving all of my problems on my own.