Living beyond the label

Do you label things?

Labels are helpful when alphabetizing. Labels are good for organizing your pantry or your classroom or your financial files. A label like "stranger" is good when you teach a child about safety. Labels like movie ratings help us determine what type of movie we're getting ourselves into. Labels on prescriptions help keep us safe.

But labels that demean and belittle are unhelpful at best and can be destructive.

We all label people, so let's just get that out on the table. Sometimes we do it unconsciously, merely observing and categorizing: "He's tall. She's got curly hair." However, I think there is a hint of judgment in our labeling most of the time that can keep us from associating with other people, whether out of pride or fear.

I was reminded of the pain our society has inflicted on its people as I watched Lee Daniels' "The Butler" yesterday. I was fortunate to grow up in a home and a school where the color of a person's skin was irrelevant in determining who to associate with. Our little group was such a rainbow of ethnicities and cultural influences, and I loved each precious girl. Watching this movie yesterday...I just don't understand. Truly, I don't see what role the color of someone's skin plays in the content of their character - who they are inside. These types of labels are toxic not only to society as a whole but to the spirit of each person.

I just started going through a study by Max Lucado entitled "Dealing with Difficult People." We all have that person in our lives. I am hopeful that going through this study will equip me to face that person with more love and less impatience. In the first lesson, Max talks about labeling and provides a great definition:

"Labeling is drawing the conclusion before you know the facts. Labeling is the lazy effort of determining the character of the person without knowing the person."

Isn't that true? Labeling IS lazy. It takes the hard work out of relationships and lets you build up walls before making the effort to get to know someone.

The fact is, people label people. If I'm going to be labeled by anything, I want to be labeled by love. John 13:34-35 records Jesus telling his disciples how He wanted them to be labeled:

"...Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

I am reminded of a song by Christy Nockels entitled "By Our Love." There was a span of time when I listened to this song every morning because it prepared my heart for the day ahead. If we are going to be labeled, let it be by our love.

My goal is to work harder at not labeling people and not letting society's labels stand in my way.

Let them know us by our love.

Happy birthday, Dennis!

To the best manager I've ever had, a loving husband to Katherine and loving father to five wonderful kids, and a man of God who lives his life to serve Him, HAPPY <insert new age, calculated based on the year mentioned below> BIRTHDAY!!!

Favorite memories:

• Dinner at Jimmy John's in Minneapolis on a business trip when we first discovered our shared faith
• Waffleology nights of food, fun, fellowship, and faith
• Favorite travel dinner of yogurt, Twizzlers, and Cracker Jacks
• Family dinners when I become a Smith for the night
• Moving the couch out of my apartment

• Planning the first internship program at NMD in the span of what seemed like a week!
• Cinnamon, butternut squash, and yogurt (some of our shared favs)

We are all so thankful to share life with you! Here are some other cool but much less noteworthy things that happened in 1963:

• Gas was 29 cents per gallon (seriously?!) - Today: $3.469
• Average price of a new car was $3,233.00 - Today: ~$15,000
• A loaf of bread cost 22 cents - Today: $2.58
• President John F. Kennedy was assassinated
• Beatles released "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"
• Martin Luther King, Jr. delivers "I Have a Dream" speech
• AT&T introduces touch tone phones
• Zip codes were implemented in the U.S.
• Michael Jordan was born on February 17th...and Johnny Depp was born on June 6th :)

So, as you can see, a few other things happened in 1963, but by far the most important was the day of YOUR birth!

Happy birthday, Dennis! I "smith" you!

Allyson

The bassoon and the Bible

I am a bassoonist.

Upon first read, many of you may wonder if this is an admission to some sort of disease or phobia. Is it a point of view or a recent fad?

No, my friends. It means I play the bassoon. I was first introduced to this extraordinary instrument in 1997 as a wide-eyed fifth grader exploring the instruments I had to choose from for beginning band class (read about this experience and more here). During my first three years of playing, my private lesson teacher assigned me to buy an etude book that, looking back, was way out of my league. Even with a background in piano and choir, I did not understand half of the musical markings in the book, I knew how to finger only a fraction of the notes, and I had little-to-no concept of the musicality such an advanced book required.

Why would she assign this expert level book to me?

Potential.

She believed I had the potential and capacity to learn those markings, fingerings, and the necessary understanding of musicality. She saw beyond my limited skills to what could be. She knew that over the next sixteen years, I would develop the necessary technique on the bassoon to be able to play these challenging studies.

I slaved over the etudes in those early years, employing all sorts of techniques in an effort to just get through them (writing note names above every note in tenor clef sections, etc.).

Milde "50 Concert Studies, Opus 26, Nos. 1-25 Vol. I for Bassoon

As with most things we do not understand or find "too challenging," I decided I didn't like the music in that book. The fact was, I just did not have the experience yet to be able to succeed at playing these pieces or appreciate them for the challenge and beauty they offered.

Fast-forward sixteen years.

The other day, I came back to this etude book. I found that the fingerings that used to plague me now flowed easily. The clef changes didn't phase me a bit. I was able to transition between moods and styles in the etudes as though they were my own. What a difference a few years and a great amount of experience make.

Isn't it like this in our understanding of the Bible, as well? As children, we study the stories that are easy - the ones we can grasp. We avoid the ones that seem to pose more questions than they provide answers or that challenge us in ways we are not yet mature enough or ready to face. Then, as years go by and experiences build our spiritual "muscles," we not only begin to understand these more challenging stories, but we also see the "easy" stories with a different perspective:

• Noah's ark is about more than saving two of every kind of animal.
• The Ten Commandments are more than a list of things to do or not to do.
• Daniel and the lion's den was not just a story about God shutting the mouths of hungry lions.
• David's victory over Goliath was not the end of his battles.

I wonder how the next sixteen years will shape my understanding of the bassoon and the Bible? 

What do a basketball player, a musician, and an HR Analyst have in common?

Me.

For those of you who know me well (or those of you who have met me and made an educated guess, based on my not-so-subtle 6'0" frame), I played basketball for a number of years. Recruited in third grade to a team called the Magic by a set of twins with their dad as the coach, I ended up playing ball through my freshman year in high school. I had a blast! The height was my gift, but I had a lot to learn in terms of appropriate aggressiveness and technique.

 

As I approached high school, I experienced a few injuries and then faced the decision of whether to pursue sports, music, or both (I had started playing the bassoon in 6th grade and grown to LOVE it).

My initial goal was to do both. I thought I could handle it. Then, I hit a slump in my playing. Looking back, I realize now that I was trying too hard, viewing basketball as an objective, all-technique game. I played as though I had to get all the answers right. While trying to play perfectly, I missed out on the flow of it all. Then, I was faced with an injury that, for me, was career-ending.

After undergoing arthroscopic surgery on my now twice-dislocated right shoulder, and as my interest in music had increased and I was applying for the position of drum major as a sophomore, I decided to set aside my high-top shoes and the court and wholeheartedly pursue music.

I had a wonderful musical experience in high school, enjoying years of marching band and concert hall performances. A few band directors, and one in particular, inspired me to pursue music education in college. For those of you music majors out there, you'll "Amen!" with me on this one: music courses in college are SO different from the AP, standardized courses in high school. There is an initial layer of objectivity in music that must be recognized, honed, and respected, but ultimately music is a realm of subjectivity. The classes challenged me in ways I never expected and forced me out of my oh-so-tidy world of fill-in-the-blank tests. I am so thankful for that experience and grateful that I continue to have the chance to play to this day.

 

My career path ended up taking a new direction, however. I found that my professional interests were more in the world of business, even though my heart was in the music. So, I pursued an MBA in Organizational Behavior and Human Resource Management and found my perfect blend of objectivity and subjectivity. HR is a world of precision and ambiguity. There are hard facts and numbers to be dealt with on a daily basis, and then there are people issues to be handled individually while still applying company policy. I use both sides of my brain every day and am constantly challenged.

 

 

Only now can I look back at my experiences and see how they prepared me for this current role. Incredible, isn't it? Who would have thought? I think we all know the Answer to that question...

Do you have time?

If you've read any part of the book of Proverbs, you've seen the word "wisdom" more times than you can count. The book is full of literary devices that support this focus: personification of wisdom as a woman, analogies, and comparison and contrast between the wise and the fool.

Sometimes, I have wondered at the definition of "fool." Does this mean a person who just doesn't get it? Can't get it? Chooses not to get it?

Dr. Michael Easley spoke this morning about the book of Proverbs and gaining wisdom, and he addressed the idea of the fool. He made it clear that the term "fool" is not a definition of capacity but of choice. For example:

• "Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions." Proverbs 18:2
• "Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others." Proverbs 12:15
• "A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool." Proverbs 17:10

Acquiring wisdom is an intentional pursuit and a lifelong process. It takes time. It's not something we can find in a bookstore or online. It's not a degree we can finish in 2-4 years. It's a daily pursuit.

If I were to name a "life verse," it would be Psalm 90:12: "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

I am a time-oriented person. I've learned how to plan the right amount of time for certain things. My top love language is quality time. When you give me your time, that speaks love to me. By the same token, when we spend time with God and the things of God, that shows our love and devotion. We should spend time with Him, in His Word, and with godly people as we seek to gain wisdom.

Society tells us that we don't have enough time to get things done. After all, many shows on tv are "one hour" or "thirty minutes," but they really last a fraction of that time because of commercials, which are themselves short and sweet and have to be super-catchy to grab our attention. Our attention spans grow shorter and shorter as we seek to fit the most into a 6.5-second Vine video or a 140-character tweet. We can't sit and carry a conversation at lunch without checking our phone for updates.

But if we set all of that aside and retrain our minds to focus, we find that we have plenty of time for the important things. So maybe the real question is not "Do you have time?" but "Will you make time?"

Are you compassionate?

Compassion.

What do you think of when you read this word? Do you think of pity or empathy? Of sitting down with someone and letting them cry on your shoulder? Maybe you think of Compassion International and sponsoring a child in a foreign country. Maybe you think of Jesus.

When I think of compassion, I think of a trait I really want to define me. In fact, at different, pivotal times in my life, I have made this trait a focus of prayer - that I might be a more compassionate and less judgmental person. I think it is something I will have to intentionally pray about throughout my life.

Recently, I was confronted with a lack of compassion at work. The longer I am in the workforce (especially in my current industry), I see a strong sense of entitlement. Instead of employees coming to me with a request, they come with demands. Instead of thanking me for helping them, the response is more one of "Well, that's my right" or "You owed me." This has become so routine that my responses are often merely polite, if not guarded, when typically they would be more friendly and genuine. Sometimes, I find myself putting certain things off because I don't appreciate the way someone asked for my help. How selfish is that?

A sweet, older woman recently asked me for help with something, and I found myself putting off helping her. Besides it being a very busy week, I don't really know why I was reluctant to help. When I got the answer the next day, I sought her out. After explaining what she needed to do, the woman very graciously and effusively thanked me.

I was surprised. I'm not really used to getting a genuine "Thank you" from an employee outside of my team. It felt good...and it felt bad. I realized that I had succumbed to the whole "I'll treat you the way
you treat me" syndrome instead of treating others as Christ would. I've been acting like a child. Instead, I need to remember 1 Peter 3:8-9:

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

He knows me like...

Psalm 139 tells me that God knows everything about me. He knows all of the intimate details of my life and who I am. In a world where you get jobs because of who you know or you're judged by who you know or you rate yourself by how many people you "know" on Facebook, I think we all would say that at the end of the day, we want to be truly known. To be known and to be loved because and even though we are known.

The lyrics to an incredible song called "Known" with Psalm 139 at its heart have painted such indelible pictures in my mind of how God knows me. The song is full of analogies and sometimes we really need analogies to grasp heavenly things.

There are a number of analogies in the Bible that use earthly relationships to help us understand our relationship with God. Here are a few:

He knows me like...

• a husband knows his wife (Ephesians 5:25-27) 
• a teacher knows his students (Matthew 7:28-29, John 13:13, John 20:16)
• a father knows his children (Luke 6:36, Luke 11:13)
• a friend knows a friend (John 15:13-15)

When I think of how I know Him, my thoughts can hardly be put into words because I know my knowledge of Him will never be complete this side of Heaven. I am constantly learning about Him and getting to know Him better.

I know Him like...

• a bluebird knows the sky (it flies through the sky every day and yet is always seeing something new or flying a different path; it has limitless room to explore the infinite reaches of the sky)
• a child at the symphony (she knows the melody but has much to learn before she can understand how the harmonies weave together to form a masterpiece)

 

• an angelfish knows the sea (it swims through the depths of the ocean its whole life but faces open water and endless routes to travel)

He knows me completely, and I have a lifetime to get to know Him. May it be an everyday pursuit. An intentional pursuit. A wholehearted pursuit. To know my Creator...

My sister, my friend

I have the privilege of sharing a deep friendship with my sister, Angela. It's one of those relationships that confuses people these days. Growing up, we didn't fight like so many sisters do. Being four years apart, we each had our own interests and commitments.

(However, I always wanted to be just like Angela in so many ways. Beyond wanting to follow in her physical, academic, and social footsteps, I even asked "Santa" for glasses and braces one Christmas just so I could be more like her!)

In our school years, we wrote notes to each other on notebook paper with gel pens (you know, the ones where you were cooler the more colors you owned?) I always wished I could figure out how to fold them like she did!

We made up nicknames for boys we had crushes on and made whole days out of shopping at the mall with Mom. We also both played softball and other sports, and Dad was right there with each of us as a formal or informal coach.

Throughout the early years, we got along very well as sisters, and as we moved into high school and college and started to walk different paths of interest (she excelled in drill team, and I pursued music), that is when we really became true friends.

Life started to throw new curves at us, and our conversations evolved from crushes, high school drama, and which college we wanted to attend to our faith, careers, and thoughts of marriage someday.

After college, we did the most logical thing for two single sister-friends: We got an apartment together. It made perfect sense for us. That was five and a half years ago, and I've loved every minute!

Angela is my confidante, my advisor, my encourager, and my listening ear. She laughs with me, prays with me, and cries with me. She comes to my concerts; I go to her movies. We've read the whole Bible together, and we've watched all three seasons of "Downton Abbey" (more than once!). We compromise, we learn, and we grow. We face the future with the assurance of our faith in God and our bond of friendship.

Each year, we celebrate our own special Sister's Day on June 1. Today consisted of time celebrating our friendship, and a delicious meal at Zoe's Kitchen:

                                                                 Chicken Kabobs

                                                                 Chicken Pita Pizza

Will life change our current situation? Yes, someday things will change - our living arrangements, our careers, etc. But I know that our love for each other as sisters and friends will never change, and for that, I am eternally grateful!

Well-acquainted with waiting

The events in Moore, OK this past week hit close to home. My aunt had just moved into a house in Moore, and it was essentially totaled by the devastating EF5 tornado. She was home alone watching television, and her show was not interrupted with a warning. Hit in the head by a few pieces of debris, she did experience a concussion, but praise God there was no internal bleeding.

Thankfully, my cousins live within a few miles of her, so she was able to find refuge in their home the night the tornado hit. My cousin's wife kept us all updated on my aunt's condition and ended the night saying that the biggest challenge they faced was waiting for dawn and waiting to see what was left of the house.

Waiting.

As I tried to wrap my mind around my aunt's new season of waiting (for a night and for many months ahead), my own seasons of waiting shifted in perspective. Yes, they are still meaningful and challenging for me, but when you see someone else's unique season of waiting, it can be comforting to know you're not alone.

My thoughts wandered to Jesus' seasons of waiting. He is well-acquainted with waiting. Growing up, He was waiting for the time to begin His ministry. He learned the trade of a carpenter and then began teaching in the Temple. But He had to wait until He received God's blessing to begin His ministry on earth. What anticipation must He have felt to pursue His calling?

Then, He was ultimately waiting to die. He knew what He was sent to earth to do (Matthew 16:21, Mark 8:31, etc.). What agony must He have felt during that season of waiting? 

And now...even now He is waiting. God is waiting for the right time to move forward with His plan. How comforting is it to know that what He asks of me (to wait on Him), He endures Himself. God can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants, and yet He Himself waits for the right time.

He is there with me in my season(s) of waiting. And so I will wait with courage and faith that He is growing me into who I need to be through the waiting.

The best kind of text

Have you ever received a prayer, specifically prayed for you, in writing? Isn't there something so moving about seeing that prayer and knowing the thought and faith behind it?

I recently received such a prayer via text from a sweet friend of mine. I had asked her earlier in the day for prayer, and she not only responded but allowed me to experience her prayer for me as she prayed it:

This dear friend and I regularly share me encouraging texts of verses and quotes. Of course, we fellowship face-to-face as well, but during a busy day at work or a late night on the weekends, sharing words that inspire and build up via text or social media can not only be experienced in the moment but in the next moment and a moment tomorrow and a moment down the road.

When people ask for prayer, do you demonstrate your faithfulness to pray? Do you call them so you can pray over the phone or pull them away from the crowd to pray together?

I know it can seem intimidating at times, but the Bible says the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Not the complicated or long or eloquent prayer. Not the drawn-out or super-holy or all-inclusive prayer. Not the well-planned or written-out or quotable prayer. 

"Prayer requires more of the heart than of the tongue." ~Adam Clarke

"The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him." ~William McGill

As I write, I know I am addressing myself more than anyone else. Sometimes, I find it easier to pray for someone else than to pray for myself. I often rely on the fact that God knows my thoughts before I do, and then I don't take the time to articulate them to Him. Isn't that a selfish view? I'm more focused on myself and my time than on investing in my relationship with Him. Prayer is more about changing me than it is about changing God. It takes a conscious effort - just like our relationships on earth require dedicated, quality time.

My friend's prayer not only encouraged me in my specific time of need, but it encourages me to see how she communicates with the Lord, and it inspires me to strike up that conversation where I left off...